Model: IR JI's

Wala Ng Problema ....

Adviser: Just to let you know na wala ng problema sa coup d etat!
GMA: Good! Sumuko na ba ang mga rebelde at ang mga oposisyonista?
Adviser: Hindi. Kinulong lang namin sila!
*****

Model: Cris Zuniga

Outrageous Headline ...

"Usapan Ng RECOVERY ALCOHOLIC ... Usapang LASING!"
*****

Model: Cris Zuniga

Newspaper Slips:

News Report...
Sign sa LABAS ng isang skating rink: " Roller skate for HEALTH ... !

Sign sa LOOB ng isang skating rink: "Roller skate AT YOUR OWN RISK ...!
*****

Model: Diether Ocampo

Newspaper Slips: One ad about Phonic says ...

"Hooked on PHONIES ... Great for any age!"
*****

Model: Dion Ignacio

Newspaper Slips: Isang news item sa tabloid ...

"The open lot on the left side of the town theater will be used for public FATHERINGS ..."
*****

Model: Tyrone Perez
Actor-Model











Defective daw ...

Mr: Ang daming manlololo ngayon. Pati ba naman mga tape sa banketa ay walang laman?
Mrs. Sayang yong binili mo. Mukhang horror pa naman. Anong title?
Mr: Head Cleaner ...!
*****

Model: Gab Drilon
Actor Model

























Sign Contest:

Ortho MD: Nilagyan ko ang opisina ko ng linyang, "Pagaalagang Sagad sa Buto!"
Cardiologist: Mine will read, " Puso Mo'y Alaga-an Ko."
Obstetrician: Ito naman ang aking catchline, " Puki mo'y, iingatan ko!"
*****

Model: Gary Dulatas
Ramp and Commercial Model

























Maghiwalay daw ...

Lolo: Maghiwalay na tayo
Lola: Ha ... bakit?
Lolo: Amoy isda na kasi ang ano mo.
Lola: Aba eh ... mangilabot ka. Buti nga pinagtiyagaan ko ang century egg mo!
*****

Model: Anthony Logan
Actor-Model

























Sign Sa Isang Videoke Bar:

Wanted FEMALE LADY Singer!
*****

Model: JC Tiusejo
1st RU Century Tuna Superbods






















(While watching a movie at the practice break)

Female Candidate: I won't be happy if somebody blow my brains out...
Male Candidate: (Joking) Are you sure you have a brains to blow out?
*****

Model: Ram Sagad
Winner Century Tuna Superbods

























(in a bikini open break)

Female Candidate: Why did you choose me?
Male Candidate: The eyes are the windows of the soul.
Female Candidate: Sooooo?
Male Candidate: Your windows are wide open ... I want to peek in!
*****

Model: Art Manlutac
Bikini Open Finalist

























(a casual talk)

Reporter: What can you say about Star Wars?
Candidate: Good movie. It has lots of 'special defects!'

Model: Kenji Marquez

How Do You Math A Girl ?

Student: ADD her to your collection ...
SUBTRACT her clothes ...
DIVIDE her legs ...
And pray she doesn't .... MULTIPLY!
*****

Model: Justin de Leon

Wholesome or Bold ...

Wholesome Movie: Saving Private Ryan
Bold Movie: Saving Ryan's Private
*****

Model: Joemarie Yllana

What's In A Name?

Name: Heidi Dimalibot
Meaning: Ayaw Gumimik
*****

Model: James Zablan






















Bagong Diks:

Word: Ano Nemo?
Meaning: Bisaya for ano name mo?
*****

Model: Carlo Guevarra
Winner Be Bench 07






















(a casual talk)

Judge: Rate yourself in your karate class.
Candidate: I don't know. What I know is I can turn Michael Tyson into Michael Jackson!
*****

Model: Erie Matic
Best Model Philippines 01

























(a candidate celebrated his birthday in the practice)

Candidate1: I don't deserve this kindness ...
Candidate 2: Next time we give you a surprise party ... we will not invite you!
*****

PJ Hipolito
Bikini Open Finalist

























(before the rehearsal)

Candidate 1: What type of songs do you two like?
Candidate 2: Rock and Roll! I want to rock ...
Candidate 3: And I want to roll!
******

Model: JR Valentin

Translated Song Titles:

Song: Please Be Careful With My Heart
Translation: May Alta Presyon ... Careful!
*****

Model: Joseph Kidwell

Text of the day:

I know miss mo ako ... alam mo kung bakit? Kasi ako yong ...

Hari ng sablay pero cute, baduy pero "in" naman, makulit pero sweet, pasaway pero understanding at nung halikan ka ... puno ka ng laway. Ako lang yon ... wala ng iba! get's mo?"
*****

Model: Johnron Tanada
Mr. Globe Philippines 05

























( corny daw ang sagot)

Judge: If given a chance how will you reaarange the alphabet?
Candidate: I want U and I together!
Judge: Why is that?
Candidate: Because I want YOU and I ... together!
*****

Model: Elbert Alvarez
Mr. Pogi 06 Finalist

























(at the party)

Candidate 1: I saw you were flirting with the waiter.
Candidate 2: I was just placing an order.
Candidate 1: Well it looks like your order was not in the menu!
*****

Model: Lem Pelayo
Ramp and Commercial Model





















Diutay Lang ...

Actor 1: Di ba may sensor ang mga urinal sa LA?
Actor 2: OO naman! Bakit mo naitanong?
Actor 1: Umihi na nga ako ... hindi pa nagpaflush!
Actor 2: Alam ko na. Dahil diutay ka lang ... hindi na- sense ng sensor ang censor mo!
*****

Model: JC Tiusejo

Sayings To Live By ...

Old Saying: Ang taong di marunong magmahal ng wikang Pilipino ... ay higit pa sa hayop at malansang isda.
New Saying: Ang taong di marunong magmahal ng wikang Pilipino ... ay siguradong intsik ito o taga India.
*****

Model: Zanjoe Marudo
Bodyshots 01 Finalist

























(at the welcome party for pageant judges)

Candidates: The party is ready and the judges are coming. What else do you want us to do?
Pageant Organizer: There's one thing! Make yourselves look good!
*****

Model:Denver Olivares
Ginoong Filipinas 07

























(in the talent competetion)

Candidate 1: One of my secret talent is singing! Listen ....
Candidate 2: Okay ... keep it a secret!

Model: Gab Drilon

Interview sa isang aktres tungkol sa past boyfriend niya:

"Its spilled milk ... under the bridge ..."
****

Model: Victor Pinlac
Ginoong Filipinas 05 Finalist

























( at the beauty saloon)

Candidate 1: While the rest of the world has problems on poverty and war ...here we are with our problems so dear to our heart ...
Candidate 2: And that is ... having a nose job! Ha ... ha ... ha!
*****

Model: Jason Abalos

Outrageous Headlnes:

Direk Kidlat TAHIMIK ... NANANAHIMIK lang sa kanyang TAHIMIK na showbiz career!
*****

Model: Ronnie Liang
Actor-Singer


















Nabuntis Natin Si Inday ...

Mr: I have this problem ... at hindi ko na yata kaya.
Mrs: Honey ... problema Natin! Ang problema mo ay problema ko. Ano nga ba ang problema
Natin?
Mr: Nabuntis Natin si Inday. Tayo ang ama!
*****

Model: Jamil Basa

Actor-Model

(At the clinic)

Patient: Dok ... tulungan mo ako. I can"t stop my hands from shaking!
Dok: Palagi ka siguro umiinom!
Patient: Not really! I spill most of it!
*****

Model: Gardo Versoza
Actor-Model




















Huwag Na Kasing Umihi eh ...

Mrs: Papa ... jijingle muna ako!
Mr: Ay naku honey ... dalian mo at baka wala ka nang abutan!
Mrs: (Himihingal pagbalik...) Putsa ... wala na nga. Matamlay na siya!
*****

Ace Fermin
Ginoong Metro Manila

























(at the rehearsal)

Production Assistant: What happened to candidate 12?
Manager: He is a little bit colicky!
Production Assistant: Why don't you burp him ... to keep yourself busy!
*****

Model: Richard Somes
WinnerCircle of Ten





















(in a one to one interview)

Judge: How do you describe your girlfriend?
Candidate: 1 percent angel and 99 percent bitch!

Model: Will Devaughn
Actor-Model

























Sign sa isang beauty parlor sa Laguna ...

"We also do FULL FRONTAL body massage ..."
*****

Model: Justin Cuyugan

Wholesome or Bold ...

Wholesome TV: Walang Kapalit
Bold TV: Walong Kapalit
*****

Model: JohnLawrence Aquino
Ginoong Filipinas Turismo 95





















(At the out of town visit in a local zoo)

Candidate1: The tiger kept on looking at me.
Candidate 2: I think he likes you ... he likes to bite you, if you know what I mean!
*****

Model: Jeram Lumbab
Ginoong Filipinas 94

























(Question and answer portion in a male pageant)

Host: What do you do when you have uncontrollable sexual urge?
Male Candidate: I take matters into my own hands!
*****