Model: John Lloyd Cruz

What's In A Name?

Name: Claro M. Recto
Meaning: Klaro(malinis) na ang rectum ( Naka-enema na)
*****

Model:Rey Talosig






















Bagong Diks:

Word: Tissue
Meaning: Ikaw nga ('Tis you ...)
*****

Model: Kaisan Lopez

Translated Song Title:

Song: Bakit Iniibig ka
Translation: Theme Song Ni Mahal At Jimboy Noon
*****

Model: Harry Laurel

Text of the Day:

If you need a FUCK ... ako ang taong kailangan mo,
FUCK- Friends U Can Keep!
Ano Payag kang ma-FUCK mo ako?
******

Model: Nina Ricci Alagao
BB. Pilipinas Universe

























(In the interview)

Candidate: You think that some candidates are just a beautiful face with an empty brain?
Judge: That's not what I thought. I just believe some candidates have brains but with an empty face!
*****

Model: Margaret Wilson
BB. Pilipinas World 2007
























(The candidate joined the pageant again)

Reporter: What do you feel when the media says, "you're back!"
Candidate: I don't know... what I know is that i didn't go anywhere.
*****

Model: Anna Theresa Licaros
BB. Pilipinas Universe2007

























(After losing the beauty contest)

Mother:(consoling the daughter) Anak ... look at the bright side.
Candidate: Is there a bright side ... mom?
Mother: Did I really look that optimistic?
*****

Model: Anna Maris Igpit
Bb. Pilipinas World 2006

























(At the beauty quuen's house)

Friend: Oh my ... I never have seen an avalanche of photos and photo albums. Don't you ever
get tired of your face?
Beauty Queen: You should have seen my 'room'!
Friend: More photos?
Beauty Queen: I said ... there's a 'room' for more!
*****

Model: Joemarie Yllana
Actor Model





















Walang Tulugan ...

Mommy: Usap-usapan na dito daw natulog si Kuya Germs at Jackie Lou kagabi.
Teen Actor: That is not true mommy!
Mommy: Yan ang tsismis sa araw na ito.
Teen Actor: Paano naman matulog sina Kuya Germs dito ... eh magdamag kaming gising. Sabi nga sa TV show .... "Walang Tulugan!"
*******

Model: Jeffrey

Sayings To Live By ...

Old Saying: Pag di ukol ... di bubukol.
New Saying: Pag di ukol ... buong buhay namamaktol.
*****

Model: Edward Mendez

At Mc Donalds...

Customer: Wala ba kayong KIDNEY meal?
Attendant: Wala po... pero meron kaming KIDDIE meal!
*****

Model: Biboy Ramirez

Knock ... Knock ...

Bentong: Knock ..knock ...
Tado: Who's there?
Bentong :Dalmatian ...
Tado: Dalmatian ... who ?
Bentong: You and I must make a pact...
We must bring Dalmatian back ...
*****

Model: Jeff

Nagkalagayan ng loob ...

Politiko: O ayan ang 100 thou. basta sabihin ninyo may dayaan ang eleksyong ito.
Pulis: Si Bossing naman. Alam mo naman we are here to serve and protect.
Politiko: Serve who ? And protect who?
Pulis: Serve ourselves and protect ourselves.
*****

Model: Jason Pennings

Outrageous Headline:

AHAS na reporter, pagkatapos TINUKA ang aktres; TINUKLAW ang director!
*****

Model: Cogie Domingo
Actor-Model

















Manyakis yata ...

Mr: Did you buy Jr. his toy gun?
Mrs: Ayaw eh. He wants a doll. Kaya mannequin na lang ang binili ko para malaki.
Mr. Don't you think bakla na yang anak natin
Mrs: Manyakis is a better word. Ayon nakapatong sa mannequin!
*****

Model: Albert Adrales

Ramp and Commercial Model

Masama ang kape:

Question: Anong kape ang dahilan ng breast cancer?
Student Nurse: Kape-pindot ho sir!
Question: Ano namang kape ang reason kung bakit may isang breast lump?
Student Nurse: Kape- pisil po sir!
Question: And what kind of kape causes vaginal bleeding?
Student nurse: Ano pa eh di kape-finger!
Sir: O di ba masama talaga ang kape ... kaya iwasan ninyo ano ... ?

Model: Terence Baylon
Actor- Model
























Sign at Afghanistan tailorshop:

"For your summer wear, we will EXECUTE our customers in strict fashion."
*****

Model: Emilio Garcia
Actor Model, Bodyshots Finalists

























Question and Answer:

Question: Ano ang ibig sabihin ng "burning love"?
Answer: Burning love is when gusto mong gumamit ng KY jelly but pick up Vicks vapor rub instead.
*****

Model: Ken Escudero

Wholesome or Bold?

Wholesome TV: Flor de Luna
Bold TV: Flower ni Luna
*****

Model: Jake Cuenca

What's In A Name?

Name: Nancy P. Kwan
Meaning: Si Nancy Nagpapa-kwan
*****

Model: Wendell Ramos






















Bagong Diks:

Word: Kuloghost
Meaning: Mukhang alangan ghost; alangan kulogo
*****

Model: Nicko Deyro






















Translated Song Titles:

Song: I Believe I Can Fly
Translation: Nagsha-shabu
*****

Model: Jon Muhlally

Text of the day ...

If you feel na inis na inis ka sa mundo ... ganoon din ang feeling ko,
Pag may topak ka ... may topak din ako,
Pag happy ka ... happy din siempre ako.

Bakit kamo? Yan ang tanong mo...
Wala lang! Yang ang sagot ko.
Gusto lang kitang gayahin ... eh!
*****

Model: JC de Vera
Actor-Model





















Buhay na buhay ...

Child actor: Mommy... totoo bang first love never dies?
Actress: Totoo anak ... Tingnan mo ang tatay mo, hanggang ngayon buhay pa ang animal!
*****

Model: Harry de Guzman

Sayings To Live By ...

Old Saying: Ang taong walang kibo ... ay masama ang loob
New Saying: Ang taong walang kibo ... ay pipi!
*****

Model: Geoff Taylor

Walang exercise ang aktres...

"Out of FIT ako these days ..."
Translation: Hindi siya nakapag-gym
*****

Model:Bim Cecilio

Walang Pretensions ...

Tito: Kuya ... ano ang gusto mo sa isang kaibigan?
Vic: Gusto ko sa isang kaibigan may sayad sa ulo, may pagkabaliw
ay may pagka-sira ulo!
Tito: Kaya nga gusto kita eh ... dahil totoo ka. Hindi ka
nagpapanggap na matino kang tao.
*****

Model: Leviger Laxina
Hari Ng Negros Finalist














Bantay Bata ...

Teacher: Ngayong tapos na ang eleksyon anong bulaklak ang ibigay mo kay GMA?
Bata: Chicharong Bulaklak po!
Teacher: Bakit naman?
Bata: Pagkatapos ilampaso ang mga kandidato ng Team Unity ... hot na hot siya!
Mataas na ang blood pressure ... pati na cholesterol!
*****

Model: Edgar Allan de Guzman

Newspaper Slips: Artistang babae UMAANGAL sa mga unfounded tsismis about her:

"Artistang babae UMA-ATUNGAL sa latest tsismis about her."
*****

Model: Jay Manalo

Outrageous Headline:

PAGASA ... UMAASANG Gaganda ang Panahon!
*****

Model: Chuck Allie

Starstruck Finalist, Actor Model

Pasukan Na ...

Mrs: Honey ... bakit maraming nagpapakasal kung Hunyo?
Mr: Simple lang ang sagot ... pasukan na!
*****

Model: Hans Montenegro
Actor Model

























Hindi Makahinga ...

Nurse: You need something sir?
Patient: (gasping for breath ... making unintelligible talk.)
Nurse: Hindi kita maintiendihan sir. Isulat mo nga kung ano
ang kailangan mo.
Patient: Get your foot out of my oxygen tube ... you moron!
*****

Model: Sam Milby
Actor-Model-Singer

























Sign Sa Isang Flower Shop ...

"We also sell artificial FRESH flowers ..."
*****

Rob Duat
Model-Athlete





















Wholesome or Bold

Wholesome Movie: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Bold Movie: Four Hung Men of the Apocalypse
*****

MOdel: Leandro Baldemor

Wholesome or Bold?

Wholesome TV: Super Twins
Bold TV: Tsuper Things
****

Model: Jon Hall

What's In A Name?

Name: Tom Cruise
Meaning: Tom Cruz
*****

Model: Niko Deyro






















Bagong Diks:

Word: Hepatitis
Meaning: Sakit Ng Mga Patay
*****

Model: Paolo Adrian Guevarra






















Translated Song Titles:

Song: This Girl Has Turned Into A Woman
Translation: Nabuntis Siya!
*****

Model:Joseph Marco

Text of the Day...

One peso is one peso. Bawat sentimo nito ay pinagpaguran. Katumbas nito ay kung paano naghirap ang mga magulang mo ... magkacellphone ka lang. Kaya the moment na matanggap mo ang message na ito, magreply ka naman. Mahiya ka naman sa parents mo.

Model: Jay R Sillona
Actor-Model-Singer





















Dialogue sa isang teleserye ...

Aktor: Ano naman ang kapalit pag ginawa ko ang pinapagawa mo?
Aktres: As usual ... isang lenguahe lang naman ang alam mo ... PERA!
****